As we come to the end of 2019, we close the chapter on this last decade. While some may have had an amazing year/ decade, others may not have felt the same. If you’re like me, you’ve seen plenty of ups and downs. This is a quick snapshot of my decade. (What does yours look like?- write it out to see all the positives and see what you’ve learnt)
- 2010 – found myself as a single mum of 1 and also enrolled into my nutrition degree.
- 2011 – started working in fitness
- 2012 – won my first taekwondo nationals competition
- 2013 – started dating my now husband
- 2014 – went on the most magical trip to Europe (still not over it and planning my next trip overseas one day)
- 2015 – Was happily planning my wedding.
- 2016- married my best friend and went on our honeymoon then fell pregnant a few months later. We also bought our house. (BIG YEAR)
- 2017 – had my son (so happy to have created life again but was then dealing with the stress and depression of trying to find myself again as well as balancing thyroid related hormones after pregnancy)
- 2018 – went through a lot of stress/ anxiety/ depression in trying to lose my baby weight (which I’m still working on). I was also quite stressed because I was finishing my final year of uni (finished my nutrition degree)- it was surreal to actually graduate after 8 years of studying.
- 2019- Trying to find myself as a person and also confused as to how I was going to use my new degree. Found myself asking all the big questions: who am I? how am I contributing to this world? who am I helping? what will I do with my degree? why don’t I feel happy?
I was desperately lost at the start of 2019 and while I’m still searching to find answers for myself, I have come to realise that it’s not always about the destination. I was so focused on what I should be doing, that I forgot to live in the now and focus on what I’m actually doing. Enjoy the journey. It seems so simple yet so difficult to apply when you’re constantly stressed about little things in life.
- If I don’t do the housework now, who’ll do it?
- If I don’t do..(fill the blank).…….. people will judge me.
- I’ll be happy when I’ve lost 10kg
- OMG the kids are crazy today! I can’t even….
- I’m so tired to…
- I’ll be happy when I’m earning more money
- I’ll be happy when I’ve landed that job I wanted
- I’ll feel better if I just finish this work, I’ll sleep later… AND THE LIST GOES ON… AND ON….
Towards the end of 2019 I was asking myself… “What if I changed my outlook on life, could I be happier? Can I be happy now?” The answer is YES. While there are many things that are out of your control, like whether you get the job or not, like what other people are thinking or saying, you do have control over what YOU think and feel. This message has been really helpful for me this year. So now I approach situations differently and hope to carry this positive mindset and positive energy into the next decade. It looks something like this now.
- Did I put in enough effort to make a difference today?
- Have I helped someone today?
- Have I told my loved ones that I love them?
- How did I show my loved ones that I love them?
- If the housework didn’t get done, so what? I am grateful that I have a happy, healthy family that are LIVING in our house.
- I use this affirmation a lot ” You are exactly where you need to be and everything is unfolding as it should”
- I take time for myself in the form of self-care and self-love. That means to nourish my body with nutritious foods, to exercise daily, to sleep properly, and to practice mindfulness and meditation daily. It means to get regular check ups and make sure I am at my healthiest despite what other people may think or say.
So for 2020, Instead of writing out new years resolutions that lack emotion and drive, I invite you to try looking at the world with a positive mindset, practicing self-care and finding even more happiness. Live in the now!
What does this mean in practical terms?
- Find the silver lining and practice gratitude to create a positive mindset. That doesn’t mean you need to be ecstatically happy all of the time. We all know those people are annoying (jokes). It means to be open minded and see the opportunity to learn from different situations. Yes, especially the stressful ones.
- Define what makes you happy then chase that happiness! What makes you happy? How can you implement more happiness into your life? How can you find happiness even in situations where you feel stressed, tired, anxious, depressed? ( I know this one is a challenging one but anything worth doing will be a challenge. Challenges are what push us to grow – Hence growth mindset)
- Practice self-care. Self-care is an everyday practice. It doesn’t mean to have a bath every night (though if that’s what you like, go for it!) It’s about your routines and daily habits. What are you doing right now that benefits your physical, spiritual, emotional and social health? exercise, eating well, sleeping well, spending time with friends, family and pets, meditation, mindfulness, spirituality, connecting with nature…. these are all examples of self-care. It’s about taking the time to care for you. This one is even more important to the individuals who put everyone else before themselves. The people you care for need you and they need you to be 100% so take time for yourself without feeling guilty. It makes you a better carer (this is something I’ve had to learn for myself too).
Whatever the last decade has given you, it is in the past now so we can take the lessons we’ve learnt and move forward.
Remember that “it is just a chapter in the past. Don’t close the book- just turn the page.”
-anonymous
I wish you love, happiness and all of the good vibes for the next year and next decade. And if it doesn’t turn out as you expected, I hope that you are able to learn from your experiences and continue to grow making each year bigger and better than the last.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Bella.B
xxoxo